Pensive. Comtemplative.

Wind and rain and clouds and snowflakes.
Sun and hail and chill and dew.
Breeze and blows and blinding blue.
Droplets, moonbeams, lights too few.
Tempest.

The blending of melodies.
Intertwining of harmonies.
Flowing, running, streaming lines.
Voices crying, straining sighs.
Improvisation.

Passion.

Kindred spirits.

--EHC

Excuses.

就算是我不懂 能不能原谅我
請不要把分手當作你的請求
我知道堅持要走 是你受傷的藉口
請你回頭　我會陪你一直走到最後

就算沒有結果 我也能夠承受
我知道你的痛　是我給的承諾
你說給過我縱容　沉默是因為包容
如果要走　請你記得我　如果難過　請你忘了我

- - -
















<3

Scared. Studying? Metacognition.

"Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence." -Albert Einstein

Got that from neuro two summers ago; from a lecture on metacognition. Good quote, to be discussed another day; found it in my notes today while.. searching for that metacognition lecture. Metacognition is basically knowing how one learns, knowing the realistic limits to learning based on the previous fact, and knowing how one learns best. Something like that.

So why was I searching for that? Because.. I need to learn how to study in order to learn best. And I shall detail that here. I should be annotating for Crowther, but this three-headed dog of a subject has bothered me far too long. I usually manage to chain it up and keep it submerged in the mind's abyss, but it has escaped me now. Here tis.

I find that time is catching up with me. Or.. harder-to-digest intellectual material is. I used to be able to read things a lot more quickly, and understand and remember them better too. Not sure about that second part. But, I'm scared that as the academic material this year increases in difficulty and I find myself drawn to more intellectual pieces of writing, I will not be able to keep up with the authors' messages and rhetorical strategies.. the arguments, the logic, themindsets behind them, how they're used, blah blah blah. Wow, English does play a large part in our lives; it's kinda scary.

But the true scary part is.. I'm not sure how to evolve my studying and annotating and whatnot habits, how to prune them in a manner that will allow me to reap ripe fruits of mental labor. The word evolve here is part of a masquerade. Actually, the first sentence of this paragraph is totally wrong; it should read: I have absolutely no idea as to how to read/study/annotate/blah in a way that I'll be able to remember at least most of what I read/studied/annotated/blahhed afterwards. It's like DNA. I have strands of chromatin, and I need to condense them into two chromatids, which I need to join by a centromere to make up.. chromosomes. And I'm currently lost as how to take all this chromatin and make even chromatids. Ahh.. the woes of biology analogies. Eww. I'm hoping that reinforces some concepts here.

But yeah. That's the thing. I don't know how to reinforce concepts, how to forge links and chains and all that stuff needed to bind myriad bits of potential knowledge together. Anyone out there with good study tips, especially for the humanities? And please don't tell me that based on what you make of my grades that I already know how to study. I don't know the meaning of the word "study" because I've never needed to, sad to say, but since now I do need to, I am at a complete loss. The most I've ever done "studying" for examinations of any sort was take notes in a relatively unorganized fashion and look over words here and there. I don't believe I've soldered anything together for a long time.

I'm scared of falling behind, of not understanding all the stuff out there that there is to understand, of not learning all there is to learn.

as;ldfhasofhsa;klh;a blah. I think I'll go ask those professors of humanities tomorrow. gah. Suggestions from peers are always welcome though. Most powerhouses are aware of what they do to retain information. I think. I'm aware of what I don't.

Powerhouses

Studied for English today with some definite powerhouses, honored to have been able to partake in such a venture, hope the test goes well, but am rather pessimistic about it. Don't feel ready, need to solder links of knowledge, unlikely it'll be done well, or even done. As of now they lie around clanking aimlessly. It'd be nice if the four of us scored well, would ensure .. that we know what we're doing. It'd be like the Fantastic Four or something, something to take pride in. Which would be nice. I repeat the word for lack of a better adjective. Actually there's more behind that but as it's late and my head hurts, I have no motivation to find the words I would use.

Good feeling to be able to utilize at least intermediate vocabulary in ordinary conversations, as it doesn't happen often, unless it's with CTY kids or a select few others. On a separate note, discussion is good mental stimulation.

It only costs $1.65 to send a couple of letters to Sudan. Cool beans. Doubt we'll get a reply, but hey, our letters count for something.


Bolded the part that struck me most, but only in the 1st stanza. 2nd one's good too but haven't taken time to read more into it.

"Flower-Gathering" by Robert Frost, A Boy's Will

I left you in the morning,
And in the morning glow,
You walked a way beside me
To make me sad to go.
Do you know me in the gloaming,
Gaunt and dusty gray with roaming?
Are you dumb because you know me not,
Or dumb because you know?

All for me?
And not a question
For the faded flowers gay
That could take me from beside you
For the ages of a day?
They are yours,
and be the measure
Of their worth for you to treasure,
The measure of the little while
That I've been long away.

- - -

Tired. Will attempt to spend tomorrow catching up on NY Times and catching up with God. Goodbye for now.

Once in a Dozen Years

I went out and looked for the moon tonight at 20:14, when it was supposed to be fullest, but it was obscured by clouds. : ( No matter, went out again after 40 minutes, saw it at its brightest. Look! It happens to be the Chinese Lunar Festival today, and for other reasons that I know naught of the moon won't be this bright for another 12 years!

If you stare at the white light, it becomes dim, then enhanced, dim, then enhanced. And so on. :D

Hm. Start of a new blog; decided to abandon xanga as many posts there (esp. the old ones) reflect what I consider a very immature nature, and are not something I can be proud of. Besides, my last post there felt very forced. Parts of it were laborious and deliberate to the point where I felt anger subside just upon typing them, because they were so.. principled. Hah. If you didn't get that, no worries, whatever. Actually, I'd been interested in signing up for blogspot quite a while ago, but never did cuz.. I dunno. I was inspired to sign up by Corrinne May actually; she's Singaporean, sings in English, and has a really wise outlook on life. good role model : )

these lyrics remind me of junior year at times.

L I T T L E S U P E R H E R O G I R L
written by Corrinne May Ying Foo

first stanza; best one:

I feel like a little girl
Trying to conquer the whole wide world
Everybody wants a piece of me
And I just don't know where to turn
I've got work piled up to my head
All I want to do is jump into bed
And wash away my troubles with lemonade
Play hide and seek with the boy next door
Take a trip to Singapore and
Imagine how I'll make the world a better place

and another stanza, think it's the third:

If I were a little girl
Trying to clean up the whole wide world
I'd kick the bad boys back to school
Teach them fighting's just not cool
I'd give every kid a teddy bear
Turn starving people into millionaires
Break glass ceilings with dynamite
sprinkle a little sugar and spice
Turn the bullies that terrorize
Into pink poodles that bark, but don't bite

- - -

another inspiration for us all, in the sense that he does what he feels is right amidst hardship.