senior year: shameless, spontaneous, full of delight. to know, to love, to always rejoice.
whenever i tell people that my word for senior year is "shameless," i get more than a few raised eyebrows and guffaws. =p lol. i see the word "shameless" as applicable to many facets of life, though, not just ones that involve indecency. perhaps "shameless" best describes my feeling liberated, as a senior. the idea of urgency, of having only one more year left, compels me all the more to do things i value b/c if i don't do them now, the chance'll not come in the future. and it's freeing, knowing that i have such great opportunities this last year to do these things. it's kinda like the concept of grace. being liberated in Christ so that one may aim to sin no more in the rest of life one has on earth.
senior year has also been a time of coming to terms with oneself that idealized notions of intellectual activity may not always manifest themselves as wonderfully in real life... that theses are not always the culmination of years of frenzied but immensely enjoyable intellectual struggles as i thought they were, that there will be options in the future to leave my mark on the world in writing, that a dearth of active, intense desire to produce such a long piece probably means that i shouldn't write one. mm.. yeah. ideally i'd be a renaissance person living in the 17th or 18th century, rockin' out to Bach and Vitali, poring over the works of Locke, and dreamin' to the beat of da Vinci, but.. gotta find someway else to create/draw out value in this modern world.
on an altogether unrelated note, JN says, "the heart is willing, but the mind is not." somethin' like that. true.. i'll acknowledge it, too. :p
sometimes i think that i'm so busy that i don't have time for many things i want to do. other times i think, what am i so busy with that i can't cut out 2 hrs of my time each week for [insert worthy/rewarding cause]? and when i venture out onto that path, i wonder, but which worthy/rewarding cause should i devote myself to? there are so many out there! ah.. too much thinking --> dead ends/paralysis. Nike's right: Just Do It. and if it turns out not to be a good decision, TK's probably right -- Holy Spirit'll come and re-route things for the better.
PaPa's in SG now! a deliberately-conferred name of affection, but anyhow.. thankful for two situations: 1) that he's back in the area, and 2) that Mums is speaking more realistically of going home in December. it's been quite a while, in the physical sense, and in the emotional sense, i don't know if she ever really left.
whenever i tell people that my word for senior year is "shameless," i get more than a few raised eyebrows and guffaws. =p lol. i see the word "shameless" as applicable to many facets of life, though, not just ones that involve indecency. perhaps "shameless" best describes my feeling liberated, as a senior. the idea of urgency, of having only one more year left, compels me all the more to do things i value b/c if i don't do them now, the chance'll not come in the future. and it's freeing, knowing that i have such great opportunities this last year to do these things. it's kinda like the concept of grace. being liberated in Christ so that one may aim to sin no more in the rest of life one has on earth.
senior year has also been a time of coming to terms with oneself that idealized notions of intellectual activity may not always manifest themselves as wonderfully in real life... that theses are not always the culmination of years of frenzied but immensely enjoyable intellectual struggles as i thought they were, that there will be options in the future to leave my mark on the world in writing, that a dearth of active, intense desire to produce such a long piece probably means that i shouldn't write one. mm.. yeah. ideally i'd be a renaissance person living in the 17th or 18th century, rockin' out to Bach and Vitali, poring over the works of Locke, and dreamin' to the beat of da Vinci, but.. gotta find someway else to create/draw out value in this modern world.
on an altogether unrelated note, JN says, "the heart is willing, but the mind is not." somethin' like that. true.. i'll acknowledge it, too. :p
sometimes i think that i'm so busy that i don't have time for many things i want to do. other times i think, what am i so busy with that i can't cut out 2 hrs of my time each week for [insert worthy/rewarding cause]? and when i venture out onto that path, i wonder, but which worthy/rewarding cause should i devote myself to? there are so many out there! ah.. too much thinking --> dead ends/paralysis. Nike's right: Just Do It. and if it turns out not to be a good decision, TK's probably right -- Holy Spirit'll come and re-route things for the better.
PaPa's in SG now! a deliberately-conferred name of affection, but anyhow.. thankful for two situations: 1) that he's back in the area, and 2) that Mums is speaking more realistically of going home in December. it's been quite a while, in the physical sense, and in the emotional sense, i don't know if she ever really left.
1 comment:
i loooved this post =) i am using the word shameless quite often too as a senior :D esp. after reading romans 1 where it says to not be ashamed of the gospel--we are shameless indeed!
and amen to the "just do it" slogan. that became my phrase in the midst of procrastination and over-thinking phases :D
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