Runaway

I think everyone needs to go kite-flying at least once in life.
Kite-flying is currently at the top of my list of want-to-do's. : )

Nova Scotia - Freedom! The blue sky and open expanse look very inviting. Strangely, the white clouds bring to mind SJYS' Summer '06 Field Day. Egg toss and whip cream fights! :D Hah, good times.

Singapore - Kinda static photo, but the layout of all the different kites is cool. Too bad the kites aren't more colorful, overall.

Japan - Kite battle! Vivid, intense blue for the sky. Crimson red characters in broad brushstrokes. Exciting!

Indonesia - Local color clearly reflected in the kite's image. Good. Real people with real manifestations of their ideas.

Guatemala - Amazing. The amount of time and work and energy (why do those terms remind me so much of physics?) that must have went into this is simply unfathomable!

Pakistan - Kite Runner, anyone? The Pakistani government banned kite-flying in 2006 after a boy was killed in a kite-flying festival. A kite string cut his throat. : \

Washington D.C. - I like the butterfly's colorful symmetry!

China - Looks like a rocket. And the guys are in all black. Reminds me of secret societies, bleh.

Antartica - Indeed, people do travel everywhere.

Berkeley - Octopi! It would've been cool if this photo had 8 of 'em, but I like the number 9 better anyway. They're cute. : )

Carefree children - A nostalgic look at the innocence of childhood. Lieth it there still?

And this one's just cool to look at. Kite surfing. Reminds me of integrals. Great. Har.

Come, friend. How are you? Are you having a bad day?
Let's run, skate, sail, let's just fly far far away...

What Matters?

Find Your Inner Human Rights Defender!

You are Eleanor Roosevelt!
Like Eleanor you are a firm believer in the full scope of human rights. You tend to be concerned with global issues more than local and domestic ones. You are very confident and independent and don't allow what others say to impact your judgment. Gender equality is very important to you.

Eleanor Roosevelt was the first lady of President Franklin D. Roosevelt. She was an outspoken supporter of the Civil Rights movement, and advocated equal opportunity for African-Americans. She helped draft the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, one of the documents that defines Amnesty's policies.

Take it and let me know what you got, guys!

Clams and Mussels Opened Up

So this is from Facebook, but I didn't want to add the application, so I'm putting my result here.


Elena is a Wolf
You're independent, strong-willed & often misunderstood. Very few people truly understand you. You're extremely attached to the significant few you love and respect. You often find yourself as a loner, but you eagerly seek the comfort of your pack mates.

- - -

From this NYTimes article: "Senator Barack Obama wrote about his absent father in “Dreams From My Father” and about quarreling with his wife in “The Audacity of Hope.”

John Edwards, the former senator from North Carolina, is the star of a long-running, heart-rending family drama: he lost a son in a car accident and has a wife with incurable cancer and he discusses all of it with seeming ease.

In contrast, Mrs. Clinton has meted out her inner life one teaspoon at a time: a suggestive line in an interview here, a hearty laugh there."

That last sentence is beautiful. Simply beautiful.

- - -

Anyhow, all the above was from the last few days; I was feeling halfhearted, kinda lukewarm (dangerous!), glum, in general. Things were different from winter break at Oak Glen. It's harder to hear God's voice when so many others are around me, saying this and that and who knows what. It's a struggle. And I felt the worst the day I didn't connect with God before school as I had regularly been doing since Monday. I guess I shut myself in and tried to internalize things, but that wasn't the best choice. Life works out best when you have a two-way dialogue with God. It just.. does.

Somewhat better now, I think. Optimistic. I know there's several matters I need to take care of and changes to make, but we're ready. Super-excited about going through this bunch of physics material this weekend. Honestly. I've lots to learn and review, to wrap my brain around. Need to soak in the concepts and truly grasp them. Yay and thanks to Jed for giving me the website. I've talked with Jeff about those lectures before, but I'd forgotten about them. Didn't long consider asking him and David how to learn physics when I remembered that the two picked things up quick as that *snaps*. Hah. Considering probing through the AP Calculus material on that website, too. =)

Actually, to be perfectly honest, part of what draws me to the MIT professor's physics lecture is the board the guy's using and the set-up of the room. It looks very similar to Princeton's lecture halls that we'd convene in every Sunday to share about our classes and their latest developments. Good times, good times. I'm reminded of the intellectual energy and passion that steadily diffused throughout the room, that which seeped into each and every one of us and awakened our minds and opened our souls. It takes a special kind of environment to do that, it really does.

Epidemiology love! Teacher John and Peter the Piper and rats and dead townsmen.

<3

Ajax.

I just found out that I was so close, it could have been mine. But it's not. Instead, it's yours.

I was bitter for a few minutes. Why did I give up? Couldn't I have held out for just a little longer, ignored the pressures? But, no, to do so would have meant continuing to impose on several people who care for me very much, and I couldn't let that happen.

Truth be told, I'd almost forgotten about you, and I think I had wanted it that way, that I had purposely blocked you from my mind. So, seeing your request, I was momentarily stunned. I wasn't sure whether or not to accede. You're the one who now has what I could have had but do not. It's not really your fault, but I couldn't help feeling resentful. And so, I prayed.

After a few minutes, and in the end, I decided to go with my gut and my God. We'd take it. I mean, cleansing of the heart has to start somewhere, right? Gotta scrub out all that bitterness before starting anew.

P.S. Thanks, Jason.

"Search me, O God,
and know my heart;
Try me, and know my
anxieties;
And see if there is any
wicked way in me.
And lead me in the way
everlasting."
-Psalm 139: 23-24 NKJV

Micawber - Pour Le Trinité

"A sobering thought: what if, at this very moment, I am living up to my full potential?" - Jane Wagner (1935-) American writer, director, and producer

Whew! Sobering, indeed.

Moving on.

Gladiolus for strength of character.

"It is no dishonor to be in a minority in the cause of liberty and virtue." - Samuel Adams (1722-1803), American statesman, politician, writer and political philosopher, brewer, and one of the Founding Fathers of the United States

Adhere to what is just and good. Care less what others think. Does it matter? Yes. Should it?

Irises for faith, hope, and wisdom.

"Scientists were rated as great heretics by the church, but they were truly religious men because of their faith in the orderliness of the universe." - Albert Einstein (1879-1955), German-born theoretical physicist

I find it very possible, logical, and even agreeable, to combine reason and faith. Feel free to ask me your questions.

"Creativity comes from trust. Trust your instincts. And never hope more than you work." - Rita Mae Brown (1944-), American writer

I especially agree with Ms. Brown on that last sentence, "never hope more than you work." I don't think you have the right to hope for the best if you don't try your hardest to make things work out. Sure, I suppose you could argue you have the "privilege." But hey, God helps those who help themselves.

"We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future." - George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950), English author

History's no use if you don't learn from it and use that knowledge to better the future.

A red rose for love, desire, respect, and courage.

"Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails." - 1st Corinthians 13:4-8

Well-known passage. It covers everything if you take time to analyze and apply it.

"Desire is the key to motivation, but it's the determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal - a commitment to excellence - that will enable you to attain the success you seek." - Mario Andretti (1940-), Italian-American racecar driver

There's a Chinese proverb that says something like, "Talent is three-tenths of the way; perserverance is the other seven-tenths." Similar. Great ideas are wonderful, but without their instigation, they remain just that - ideas.

"Never take a person's dignity; it is worth everything to them, and nothing to you." - Frank Barron (1922-2002) UC Berkeley scholar, psychologist, and professor

One has simply no right to carve away at others' dignity. When you get to the heart of it, we are all human. We are all the same.

"With courage you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate, and the wisdom to be humble. Courage is the foundation of integrity." - Keshavan Nair, keynote speaker and seminar leader for various (including Fortune 500) companies on leadership and strategic decision-making

Unfortunately, nowadays there exist too many people too cowardly to step out of their comfort zones and do what is right. Such is a lamentable point. Are we so afraid to be different?

- - - And here we have "The Scales of Justice." (^)

"My creed:
To love justice, to long for the right,
to love mercy,
to pity the suffering, to assist the weak,

to forget wrongs and remember benefits,
to love the truth, to be sincere,
to utter honest words, to love liberty,
to wage relentless war
against slavery in all its forms,

to love family and friend,
to make a happy home,
to love the beautiful in art, in nature,
to cultivate the mind,
to be familiar with the mighty thoughts
that genius has expressed,
the noble deeds of all the world;

to cultivate courage and cheerfulness,
to make others happy,
to fill life with the splendor of generous acts,
the warmth of loving words;

to discard error, to destroy prejudice,
to receive new truths with gladness,
to cultivate hope,
to see the calm beyond the storm,
the dawn beyond the night,
to do the best that can be done
and then be resigned.

This is the religion of reason,
the creed of science.
This satisfies the brain and the heart."

-Robert Ingersoll (1833-1899), American political leader and orator during Golden Age of Freethought

Mr. Ingersoll didn't believe in God. I do. Read his words again, and you'll find that his lack of belief has negligible effect on this work. Mr. Ingersoll's creed remains good and commendable. I urge you all to take it up, no matter what faith you follow, if any, and even if you don't adhere to one.

- - -


"Do not depend on the hope of results. You may have to face the fact that your work will be apparently worthless and even achieve no result at all, if not perhaps results opposite to what you expect. As you get used to this idea, you start more and more to concentrate not on the results, but on the value, the rightness, the truth of the work itself. You gradually struggle less and less for an idea and more and more for specific people. In the end, it is the reality of personal relationship that saves everything." - Thomas Merton (1915-1968), Catholic author and social activist

And this is the reality that I've come to know, one that I've been tested against, one that I've accepted, one that I'm willing to stick with because I have hope in God and His love for humanity. Do not depend on the hope of results, but the hope of opportunity.

"If you're going through hell, keep going." - Winston Churchill (1874-1965), British Prime Minister during WWII

A Sparkle of Hope Amidst a Litany of Grievances.

Senior year is so exhausting. Why? It's not even mainly about college apps. It's just.. the academic material. : \ And I thought I could learn just about anything if I focused and put my mind to it. I guess I've been losing faith in myself recently. It's hard to do anything well when one has multiple, diverse responsibilities. It's taxing, trying to maintain all this. Sometimes I detest my commitments and I want to give up one or more things. And then I feel guilty. Or I don't really want to give them up. Just for now would be nice, though. I don't come home until 5-6ish 4/5 schooldays. Mon/Tues/Wed/Thurs. And losing that time is killer. I don't mind too much what I have to do those days, it's just that I get so tired when I arrive home that most of the time I don't start homework until after dinner. Lately, for the past maybe two weeks, that starting time's been past 9. And then I start reluctantly, drudgingly, with little real motivation or determination.

I don't usually repost lyrics, but amen to Corrinne May's "Little Superhero Girl." It captures my sentiments exactly:

I feel like a little girl
Trying to conquer the whole wide world
Everybody wants a piece of me
And I just don't know where to turn
I've got work piled up to my head
All I want to do is jump into bed
And wash away my troubles with lemonade
Play hide and seek with the boy next door
Take a trip to Singapore and
Imagine how I'll make the world a better place

I want to go back to work, but I don't know if that's possible, considering my abysmal schedule of stuff to do and the resulting horrible time management. I guess I should call in and ask about the holiday season. : \

I just caught up on nearly all my math homework. Left 1-2 problems unfinished in each problem set. Feeling pretty accomplished. Yay. If only there weren't other homework left to do. Physics seems alright at the moment, but the English workload is a killer, especially because math is getting difficult and there's a test in the middle of this week.

AI work makes me happy, most of the time. Glad for that. Got a couple of glitches to work out. I'll be praying about that.

It's terribly frigid here in San Jose. My fingers are like icicles in the mornings. I'll have to learn to overcome that. I hope.

http://www.freerice.com/ is pretty cool. Try it. New words are good. Vocabulary is good.

Three-and-a-half more days! Strange that I should be so anxious? I don't know. God's will be done!

There was something else I was going to say.. but I forget. Au revoir for now. I had a list of things I wanted to be doing instead of homework, but since math went pretty much alright, I shall save those items for a rainy day.

Gateways and Lighthouses.

(Healthy?) suspicion? I tend to second-guess people, even and especially myself. =\ Sometimes it's a good thing, other times not so much. I don't know, sometimes I'm too guarded+paranoid and other times I'm too trusting. Eh.

Itzhak Perlman + Seiji Ozawa + Dvorak's Romance in F minor = love. period. I'd post the vids here except YouTube isn't getting along very well with my blog, so yeah. Go look it up.

A few new revelations came by these past few days. Not good ones. I treated them to tea, and then they stayed too long. As Ben Franklin noted, "Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days." I just hope they don't haunt me.

Yeah, so a couple of those revelations came through the subconscious gateway. I've actually remembered those recent ones. Which is out of the ordinary.

I had no idea I was so deeply worried about such matters.

D's and J's and DJ's. I'm not sure about the J's, I thought it was J's, but I can't quite recall. Which is sad, but it means they probably weren't serious affairs.

I distinctly remember the D's, though.

And speaking of D's, that is D-end for now.

I miss people, lightheartedness, laughter. I miss bibble babble bubble bobble bebble.