Absence

Sometimes I wonder. Too much? I just got another juice box from the garage after not finding the one on the dining table where I'd thought I had placed it. Then I bring the new one up to my room only to find that the old one was sitting on my desk. Observant of me, isn't it?

Unnerving when others around me have solidified their footsteps onto the soil upon which they step. Mudcakes forming. Layers of sand, pas igneous rock? Sticks and firewood to be torched by ignes fatui? Or have they been already? Still searching...

Tortoise and the hare? 1 Peter 1. For His praise, honor, glory. Lilly. Lilies that point to Jessica. Nilly-willy willy-nilly.

"가다."

Silence that is grey. Silence that is golden.

Necessary rebuke. Almost a reprimand. Not quite. Kick my senses back into functioning and whirling mode. Nike. Just do it.

Can't claim you've nary a clue now, can you? <-- Not directing that at anyone; simply felt like saying it.

I know there's a problem when my sleep schedule is so off. It's 3 in the morning and I feel hardly droopy-eyed.. I've been back in California for a while now, so I know it can't be jet-lag. And if it were, I would be feeling sleepy around 10 pm, or some other time before midnight.. not several hours after. Within is restless. Must tame the beast.

I say I do but I don't. I say I don't but I do. Which is worse? Father with two sons, loved whom?