God, watch over us especially in these next few weeks. I realize our problems are fleeting, and while the consequences are immense, they do not constitute all our lives. Is it too late for me to salvage what's left? To redeem myself? Time and You will tell.
I've always been aware that I haven't yet fallen. Not in this way, not in a way where You haven't picked me up. You always save me right as I'm teetering over the edge, and while I'm grateful, I realize that oftentimes I take those actions for granted. I am also aware that the higher one is up, the farther he has to fall. And I have been apprehensive these last few months, wondering if it is perhaps my time. I discussed this briefly with a friend who stated with considerable firmness that she believed I wouldn't fall, not now at least. And her reasoning? "Because you never fall." Ahh, the logic does not connect. Because I have never fallen, thus I will fall, is that not correct?
I have been propping myself up for a long time. My house is made of sand. Some rooms I have began to construct of sturdier materials, which makes me glad. But I fear my sand rooms shall dissipate before I have a chance to properly replace them. The rock for my foundation I have already found, but I must utilize it.
Woe! Ah. I shall go build some walls now. That would be a far better use of my time than complaining. Though one can argue that I am simply arranging my thoughts, playing around with the blueprint, if you wish.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Monday, April 16, 2007
Dun dun dun dun
A while? Not unusual, if notice past behaviors.
Despair? Sometimes. Look for the green light? Yes, thinking of Gatsby. Odd. Wasn't particularly drawn to the book when first read it. Don't think am, still. Interesting usually lacking articles and unnecessaries, today nouns. Actually, not first time, for nouns.
I really need to get cracking. Because I didn't focus enough in the beginning of the year on math (and several other necessaries), I now have a huge chunk of material to learn and understand before AP test time. Sigh, lovely.
But amidst all this, I'm thankful for certain people. Because talking to them, even if it's about school, or little things, calms me down.
God watches over the birds and the grass, surely He'll watch over us too? This is the psalm that church would always put on the powerpoint on communion days. There were plenty of pretty nature scenes in the background. Read on:
Psalm 121
A song of ascents.
1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.
I'm reading this book called The Chosen, by Chaim Potok. It has to do with Jewish boys. I've always had a thing for Jewish people. Interest, you might call it. Hm.
Okay, I'm out now.
Despair? Sometimes. Look for the green light? Yes, thinking of Gatsby. Odd. Wasn't particularly drawn to the book when first read it. Don't think am, still. Interesting usually lacking articles and unnecessaries, today nouns. Actually, not first time, for nouns.
I really need to get cracking. Because I didn't focus enough in the beginning of the year on math (and several other necessaries), I now have a huge chunk of material to learn and understand before AP test time. Sigh, lovely.
But amidst all this, I'm thankful for certain people. Because talking to them, even if it's about school, or little things, calms me down.
God watches over the birds and the grass, surely He'll watch over us too? This is the psalm that church would always put on the powerpoint on communion days. There were plenty of pretty nature scenes in the background. Read on:
Psalm 121
A song of ascents.
1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.
I'm reading this book called The Chosen, by Chaim Potok. It has to do with Jewish boys. I've always had a thing for Jewish people. Interest, you might call it. Hm.
Okay, I'm out now.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Life Past
Sometimes I crave this stuff. It's called chendol, and it's really good. =)
I haven't done anything academically-related today! *gasps* I feel almost guilty. Then I start thinking that maybe I shouldn't be.. Today I slept, ate, read the paper, went to the library, and read a book. o_O I just listened to this podcast, and I think some of you should too: http://www.eprep.com/2007/04/06/
Random pictures from the past eight months! Because I feel like it.
June 2006. In love with the ideas this building advocates.
June 2006. In front of the Lincoln Memorial during D.C. tour.
June 2006. Huge B&N in Baltimore. Poured that night. I bought The Devil's Arithmetic by recommendation of Simon.
July 2006. Amy, Iris, and me, outside waiting for Internet at Princeton.
July 2006. Me, Iris, Seong Woo, inside a cafe at Princeton.
July 2006. Out with family for Grandma's birthday! =)
August 2006. Malaysian cousins!
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August 2006. Teehee, <3 Ting
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August 2006. Why must parting be so painful?
August 2006. SJYS camp.
August 2006. Unintentional rainbow that later got ruined by whip cream!
September 2006. Visited Stepo, watched her do this. She's holding the E.
September 2006. So Felicia and I were honorary KEY club members for a day. =D
October 14th 2006. Harvest Crusade!
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November 19th 2006. After CYS concert.
November 2006. These mean a lot to me, but I finally decided to donate them. Decided that maybe for other kids they'd hold dreams the way they did for me.
December 2nd 2006. It's really dark. Boo. But whatever, we went and supported the lovely Kimsa at the play. =)
December 6th 2006. Amnesty International's booth at International Faire. Ahem. Officer fooling around in here!
December 14th 2006. So we were at CSF's Christmas Carnival, and guess what else was happening that day.. yup. Death day.
January 20th 2007. I like the expressions.
January 20th 2007. It took us a while to get this. Falling stimulation!
I have some February pictures somewhere, have to get a hold of them though.
March 9th 2007. Nationball was pretty cool. We won. =)
March 10th 2007. I watched Zhengren play his Command Performance.
March 11th 2007. Recital & Bloch's Nigun.
March 18th 2007. Amy and I during fencing at French Camp.
March 23rd 2007. After Screamin at California Adventures. ^ ^ Kimsa and Becca in the left photo, Janet, me, Irvin, and Hoang in the right.
March 24th 2007. Disneyland!
And that's all for now, folks!
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Look In
Wow, there have been thirty-two past vignettes of my life, snapshots into my mind, glimpses of my world. Heh. It's interesting how fast live goes by when you're busy living it. Like John Lennon said, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." That's so true.
Went CSF tree-watering after school, standing in the breezy weather and the soft sunshine. Chill. Fun just hanging out and listening to Jason Owyang's stories. I realized that I don't tell stories very often. But I listen.
I had a delightful, good, and rather refreshing talk about colleges and stuff with Ann Tan today. Through our conversation I realized that sometimes the most constraining limits placed upon us are those we impose on ourselves based on what we believe others think of us. But what really matters in the end is our expectations for ourselves based on our personal values, not our expectations for ourselves grown out of other people's surmisings. It dawned on me this afternoon, after I got home, that, everywhere people think I'll go or everything they think I'll become, sure it matters, but to what extent? What's more important is what I want of myself, the standards I hold myself to. I'd feel bad if I failed to live up to others' expectations, but that feeling would be secondary to my disapointment in myself.
It never fails to amaze me, the power of the Internet. And on a somewhat related tangent, which is actually my main point, it gladdens me, when, upon seeing a friend that I don't normally talk to very often in person but do over the Internet (due to scheduling conflicts or other social constraints), we converse well, and things feel.. friendly. : ) Whoo, talk about long sentences. Run away, run-ons!
I had dinner with God yesterday. We dined together. Or rather, I had my cup of noodles and He presented parts of His Word to me. It was calming.
Aequam memento rebus in arduis servare mentem.
Remember to keep a clear head in difficult times. -Horace
W h y ? B e c a u s e
Stultum est timere quod vitare non potes.
It is foolish to fear what you are unable to avoid. -Cicero
I suppose the immediate application of those two quotes for many of us would be AP tests. Haha. But no, it applies to other things too, many of which are non-academic. Take things in stride.
We live one day at a time, one day at a time.
Went CSF tree-watering after school, standing in the breezy weather and the soft sunshine. Chill. Fun just hanging out and listening to Jason Owyang's stories. I realized that I don't tell stories very often. But I listen.
I had a delightful, good, and rather refreshing talk about colleges and stuff with Ann Tan today. Through our conversation I realized that sometimes the most constraining limits placed upon us are those we impose on ourselves based on what we believe others think of us. But what really matters in the end is our expectations for ourselves based on our personal values, not our expectations for ourselves grown out of other people's surmisings. It dawned on me this afternoon, after I got home, that, everywhere people think I'll go or everything they think I'll become, sure it matters, but to what extent? What's more important is what I want of myself, the standards I hold myself to. I'd feel bad if I failed to live up to others' expectations, but that feeling would be secondary to my disapointment in myself.
It never fails to amaze me, the power of the Internet. And on a somewhat related tangent, which is actually my main point, it gladdens me, when, upon seeing a friend that I don't normally talk to very often in person but do over the Internet (due to scheduling conflicts or other social constraints), we converse well, and things feel.. friendly. : ) Whoo, talk about long sentences. Run away, run-ons!
I had dinner with God yesterday. We dined together. Or rather, I had my cup of noodles and He presented parts of His Word to me. It was calming.
Aequam memento rebus in arduis servare mentem.
Remember to keep a clear head in difficult times. -Horace
W h y ? B e c a u s e
Stultum est timere quod vitare non potes.
It is foolish to fear what you are unable to avoid. -Cicero
I suppose the immediate application of those two quotes for many of us would be AP tests. Haha. But no, it applies to other things too, many of which are non-academic. Take things in stride.
We live one day at a time, one day at a time.
Sunday, April 01, 2007
hellogoodbye! don't let the world pass you by!
Hello world!
^ We're here now. Time to push that hill. Mountain.
It's junior year, and time to pound the nail in the wall, and not the coffin. But yeah, time to get cracking! Usually, I thrive on stress. But this much? Think it's considerably more than usual. Don't know. Lovely, but we shall see.
God be with us all. Let us keep walking with you, "you who keep your covenant of love with your servants who continue wholeheartedly in your way." - part of 2 Chronicles 6:14.
And goodbye!
whoo. hellogoodbye ^ interesting. speaking of the band, their songs aren't too bad, a couple of 'em. but not all good. .. whatever!
I am thankful for short days. And for seniors getting in all the crazy places they've gotten into, reminds me that I gotta get cracking, not a senior yet so no privilege of slacking off. Happy for all the seniors who're going where they want. Hugs to the rest! Just joking, you all get hugs. : )
Life is beautiful if you make it so. C'est la vie!
no time to talk, carpe diem, hasta la vista, ttyl!
Au revoir!
^ We're here now. Time to push that hill. Mountain.
It's junior year, and time to pound the nail in the wall, and not the coffin. But yeah, time to get cracking! Usually, I thrive on stress. But this much? Think it's considerably more than usual. Don't know. Lovely, but we shall see.
God be with us all. Let us keep walking with you, "you who keep your covenant of love with your servants who continue wholeheartedly in your way." - part of 2 Chronicles 6:14.
And goodbye!
whoo. hellogoodbye ^ interesting. speaking of the band, their songs aren't too bad, a couple of 'em. but not all good. .. whatever!
I am thankful for short days. And for seniors getting in all the crazy places they've gotten into, reminds me that I gotta get cracking, not a senior yet so no privilege of slacking off. Happy for all the seniors who're going where they want. Hugs to the rest! Just joking, you all get hugs. : )
Life is beautiful if you make it so. C'est la vie!
no time to talk, carpe diem, hasta la vista, ttyl!
Au revoir!
Saturday, March 31, 2007
None
A long, long time ago I can still remember how that music used to make me smile
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those people dance
And maybe they'd be happy for a while.
But February made me shiver
With every paper I delivered,
Bad news on the door step,
I couldn't take one more step,
I can't remember if I cried
When I read about his widowed bride
But something touched me deep inside,
The day, the music, died.
So...
Bye, bye Miss American Pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry
Them good ol' boys were drinkin' whiskey 'n' rye
Singin this will be the day that I die.
This will be the day that I die.
Did you write the book of love
And do you have faith in God above,
If the bible tells you so.
And do you believe in rock 'n' roll?
Can music save your mortal soul?
And can you teach me how to dance real slow?
Well I know that you're in love with him
Cuz I saw you dancin' in the gym.
You both kicked off your shoes
And I dig those rhythm and blues.
I was a lonely teenage bronkin' buck
With a pink carnation and a pick up truck
But I knew I was out of luck,
The day, the music, died.
I started singin...
Bye, bye Miss American Pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry
Them good ol' boys were drinkin' whiskey 'n' rye
Singin this will be the day that I die.
This will be the day that I die.
Now for ten years we've been on our own
And moss grows fat on a rollin stone
But that's not how it used to be,
When the jester sang for the king and queen
In a coat he borrowed from James Dean
And a voice that came from you and me.
Oh and while the king was looking down,
The jester stole his thorny crown
The courtroom was adjourned;
No verdict was returned.
And while Lennon read a book on Marx,
The quartet practiced in the park
And we sang dirges in the dark,
The day, the music, died.
We were singin'...
Bye, bye Miss American Pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry
Them good ol' boys were drinkin' whiskey 'n' rye
Singin this will be the day that I die.
This will be the day that I die.
Helter Skelter in a summer swelter
The birds flew off with a fallout shelter,
Eight miles high and fallin' fast.
It landed foul on the grass.
The players tried for a forward pass
With the jester on the sidelines in a cast.
Now the half-time air was sweet perfume
While the sergeants played a marching tune.
We all got up to dance
Oh but we never got the chance.
As the players tried to take the field
The marching band refused to yield.
Do you recall what was revealed,
the day, the music, died?
We started singin'...
Bye, bye Miss American Pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry
Them good ol' boys were drinkin' whiskey 'n' rye
Singin this will be the day that I die.
This will be the day that I die.
Oh and there we were all in one place,
A generation lost in space
With no time left to start again.
So come on, Jack be nimble, Jack be quick.
Jack Flash sat on a candle stick
Because fire is the devils only friend.
Oh and as I watched him on the stage,
My hands were clinched in fists of rage,
No angel born in hell
Could break that Satan's spell.
And as the flames climbed high into the night
To light the sacrificial rite
I saw Satan laughing with delight,
The day, the music, died.
He was singin'...
Bye, bye Miss American Pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry
Them good ol' boys were drinkin' whiskey 'n' rye
Singin this will be the day that I die.
This will be the day that I die.
I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news
But she just smiled and turned away.
I went down to the sacred store
Where I'd heard the music years before
But the man there said the music wouldn't play.
And in the streets the children screamed,
The lovers cried, and the poets dreamed.
But not a word was spoken,
The church bells all were broken.
And the three men I admire most,
The Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost,
They caught the last train for the coast,
The day, the music, died.
And they were singin'...
Bye, bye Miss American Pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry
Them good ol' boys were drinkin' whiskey 'n' rye
Singin this will be the day that I die.
This will be the day that I die.
They were singin'...
Bye, bye Miss American Pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry
Them good ol' boys were drinkin' whiskey 'n' rye
Singin' this will be the day that I die.
- - -
Buckling down. Smooth joyride? Yes, oxymoron.
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those people dance
And maybe they'd be happy for a while.
But February made me shiver
With every paper I delivered,
Bad news on the door step,
I couldn't take one more step,
I can't remember if I cried
When I read about his widowed bride
But something touched me deep inside,
The day, the music, died.
So...
Bye, bye Miss American Pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry
Them good ol' boys were drinkin' whiskey 'n' rye
Singin this will be the day that I die.
This will be the day that I die.
Did you write the book of love
And do you have faith in God above,
If the bible tells you so.
And do you believe in rock 'n' roll?
Can music save your mortal soul?
And can you teach me how to dance real slow?
Well I know that you're in love with him
Cuz I saw you dancin' in the gym.
You both kicked off your shoes
And I dig those rhythm and blues.
I was a lonely teenage bronkin' buck
With a pink carnation and a pick up truck
But I knew I was out of luck,
The day, the music, died.
I started singin...
Bye, bye Miss American Pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry
Them good ol' boys were drinkin' whiskey 'n' rye
Singin this will be the day that I die.
This will be the day that I die.
Now for ten years we've been on our own
And moss grows fat on a rollin stone
But that's not how it used to be,
When the jester sang for the king and queen
In a coat he borrowed from James Dean
And a voice that came from you and me.
Oh and while the king was looking down,
The jester stole his thorny crown
The courtroom was adjourned;
No verdict was returned.
And while Lennon read a book on Marx,
The quartet practiced in the park
And we sang dirges in the dark,
The day, the music, died.
We were singin'...
Bye, bye Miss American Pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry
Them good ol' boys were drinkin' whiskey 'n' rye
Singin this will be the day that I die.
This will be the day that I die.
Helter Skelter in a summer swelter
The birds flew off with a fallout shelter,
Eight miles high and fallin' fast.
It landed foul on the grass.
The players tried for a forward pass
With the jester on the sidelines in a cast.
Now the half-time air was sweet perfume
While the sergeants played a marching tune.
We all got up to dance
Oh but we never got the chance.
As the players tried to take the field
The marching band refused to yield.
Do you recall what was revealed,
the day, the music, died?
We started singin'...
Bye, bye Miss American Pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry
Them good ol' boys were drinkin' whiskey 'n' rye
Singin this will be the day that I die.
This will be the day that I die.
Oh and there we were all in one place,
A generation lost in space
With no time left to start again.
So come on, Jack be nimble, Jack be quick.
Jack Flash sat on a candle stick
Because fire is the devils only friend.
Oh and as I watched him on the stage,
My hands were clinched in fists of rage,
No angel born in hell
Could break that Satan's spell.
And as the flames climbed high into the night
To light the sacrificial rite
I saw Satan laughing with delight,
The day, the music, died.
He was singin'...
Bye, bye Miss American Pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry
Them good ol' boys were drinkin' whiskey 'n' rye
Singin this will be the day that I die.
This will be the day that I die.
I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news
But she just smiled and turned away.
I went down to the sacred store
Where I'd heard the music years before
But the man there said the music wouldn't play.
And in the streets the children screamed,
The lovers cried, and the poets dreamed.
But not a word was spoken,
The church bells all were broken.
And the three men I admire most,
The Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost,
They caught the last train for the coast,
The day, the music, died.
And they were singin'...
Bye, bye Miss American Pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry
Them good ol' boys were drinkin' whiskey 'n' rye
Singin this will be the day that I die.
This will be the day that I die.
They were singin'...
Bye, bye Miss American Pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry
Them good ol' boys were drinkin' whiskey 'n' rye
Singin' this will be the day that I die.
- - -
Buckling down. Smooth joyride? Yes, oxymoron.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Falling Leaves.
.__________.
John was at my house for English précis work last Thursday. We were taking a break, and he played on my piano. He asked if I had absolute/perfect pitch and I responded that yes I did. He proceeded to test me. Couldn't trip me up. ! But yeah, so I asked how he heard things, since he doesn't have AP. He said that he hears just.. sound. O___O I find that a foreign concept. Tried to grasp, but couldn't. Reminds me of McCullough in 8th grade, explaining that a 4-D world would look to us like a 3-D one does to a 2-D paper doll. Eh. I wonder how it'd be to hear just.. sound. Bizarre. I think I'd like to put down my APness (ooh, both Collegeboard AP and Absolute Pitch AP) for a day (Collegeboard even more) and see how the world "sounds" without.. sound. Interesting. I dunno, I've always had my ears, taken pride in being able to distinguish nuances in pitches. But not like boastful pride, just glad I can do it kinda thing. And I've always been quite protective of my ears, I guess. No earrings! Thought they'd pull on the lobes and mess up my aural structures. But recently I receieved a pair of earrings for my birthday, and I wondered if I should get my ears pierced (because the earrings were really pretty, and I'd gone shopping for peoples' birthdays in the past few months, and I found earring shopping quite enjoyable, all that eye candy). So I noticed that my violin teacher (who has impeccable AP) wears earrings. Dunnooooo, we'll see. Though at the moment the idea isn't quite as appealing simply because I'm tired and it seems like so much energy needs to be expended to get those two little holes, and that's more than I'd like to use right now. Yeah.
Um, so some people at school have been especially bothersome recently. It's really bugging me. Aghas;lfjsald;jfh ugh. Patience! But their violations of my values have been occurring for quite some time! Sigh. Lovely. Perhaps this is God teaching me once again to deal with difficult people. Have to look for the good in all situations.
Past few days there've been times when I've felt like talking a lot, then times when I've felt like not talking at all. Shrug. Just an observation. Talk about ricocheting between extremes. Nice verb. Tis a violin bow stroke as well.
- - -
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. -Jeremiah 29:11
"For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? "Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? "And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?
"And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these.
"But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! "Do not worry then, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' or 'What will we wear for clothing?'"
"For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
"So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." -Matthew 6:25-34
Lately I've been doing too much worrying, a lot of it with issues a girl already eloquently described here. Even though I'm not a senior, I dunno.. class of 07's always been there, and I think in a sense I grew up with them more than I did my own class. Had more class with them, that's for sure. I was scared of feeling lost without them next year. Without their presence, if nothing more. More for some, yes. But yeah, today in English our teacher showed us a binder of fairly recent college acceptance letters, and that calmed me, strangely. It reassured me that there's a place out there for me, that it will be found, and that such a task won't be impossible. It reminded me that chances exist whether they be given us or not, and to fret over things I can't change is futile. To take initiative. It was quite unexpected, but it me gave a welcome sense of relief, and I'm really grateful for Mr. Crowther having shown it to us. Story of the day.
John was at my house for English précis work last Thursday. We were taking a break, and he played on my piano. He asked if I had absolute/perfect pitch and I responded that yes I did. He proceeded to test me. Couldn't trip me up. ! But yeah, so I asked how he heard things, since he doesn't have AP. He said that he hears just.. sound. O___O I find that a foreign concept. Tried to grasp, but couldn't. Reminds me of McCullough in 8th grade, explaining that a 4-D world would look to us like a 3-D one does to a 2-D paper doll. Eh. I wonder how it'd be to hear just.. sound. Bizarre. I think I'd like to put down my APness (ooh, both Collegeboard AP and Absolute Pitch AP) for a day (Collegeboard even more) and see how the world "sounds" without.. sound. Interesting. I dunno, I've always had my ears, taken pride in being able to distinguish nuances in pitches. But not like boastful pride, just glad I can do it kinda thing. And I've always been quite protective of my ears, I guess. No earrings! Thought they'd pull on the lobes and mess up my aural structures. But recently I receieved a pair of earrings for my birthday, and I wondered if I should get my ears pierced (because the earrings were really pretty, and I'd gone shopping for peoples' birthdays in the past few months, and I found earring shopping quite enjoyable, all that eye candy). So I noticed that my violin teacher (who has impeccable AP) wears earrings. Dunnooooo, we'll see. Though at the moment the idea isn't quite as appealing simply because I'm tired and it seems like so much energy needs to be expended to get those two little holes, and that's more than I'd like to use right now. Yeah.
Um, so some people at school have been especially bothersome recently. It's really bugging me. Aghas;lfjsald;jfh ugh. Patience! But their violations of my values have been occurring for quite some time! Sigh. Lovely. Perhaps this is God teaching me once again to deal with difficult people. Have to look for the good in all situations.
Past few days there've been times when I've felt like talking a lot, then times when I've felt like not talking at all. Shrug. Just an observation. Talk about ricocheting between extremes. Nice verb. Tis a violin bow stroke as well.
- - -
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. -Jeremiah 29:11
"For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? "Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? "And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?
"And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these.
"But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! "Do not worry then, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' or 'What will we wear for clothing?'"
"For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
"So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." -Matthew 6:25-34
Lately I've been doing too much worrying, a lot of it with issues a girl already eloquently described here. Even though I'm not a senior, I dunno.. class of 07's always been there, and I think in a sense I grew up with them more than I did my own class. Had more class with them, that's for sure. I was scared of feeling lost without them next year. Without their presence, if nothing more. More for some, yes. But yeah, today in English our teacher showed us a binder of fairly recent college acceptance letters, and that calmed me, strangely. It reassured me that there's a place out there for me, that it will be found, and that such a task won't be impossible. It reminded me that chances exist whether they be given us or not, and to fret over things I can't change is futile. To take initiative. It was quite unexpected, but it me gave a welcome sense of relief, and I'm really grateful for Mr. Crowther having shown it to us. Story of the day.
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